From: Support_Center Sent by: **** ******** 10/30/2003 02:34 PM This message is forwarded by the Support_Center on behalf of the user to all employees. __________________ Since Halloween falls on a Friday this year please be advised that dressing up in costume is not allowed in the Denver Headquarters offices (Bldgs A and D). Got this e-mail from the IHS "Support Center" which you will get more crap junk mails from them than you get for Viagra, home mortgages, breast enlargement, penis enlargement, and porn combine through hotmail. After reading through this email, I think that at lunch I'll change into my leprechaun costume, go to building C, then just kinda wait there and see if something happens. If that fails to yield any exciting results, I'll just make my way over to building D, do the lobby thing, etc. Start asking people about rainbows, pots of gold and such. If still nothing, I'll take off my pants.
Playing hockey is tough when you got hit by a car 52 hours prior, but I made it through. While playing like crap. We lost bad 3-2 (we played bad) but I'm looking forward to the Hyenas coming back on Sunday. I don't have any idea what I'm doing for All Hallow's Eve, so if your doing something, let me know. Perhaps I will add some fun stuff to this post at work tomorrow. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "Don't blong."
Today I got hit by a car. And by "I got hit by a car", I don't mean I was driving my car and someone hit me, I mean my person got hit by a car. Mark got hit by a car. I am typing this post from the hospital. That is a dirty lie. The hospital thing is a lie. I really did get hit by a car. Anyhow, heres how the story goes. I was going to my 1:45 Photoshop joke of a class and I parked on the west side of Lowell Blvd. as I always do. I got out of my car and was going to run across the street, but decided to wait for the car I saw as to play it safe. Once the car went past me I proceeded to walk my way across the street onto campus. Yes, I saw the car coming out of the Regis parking lot, but I assumed like a fool that they would obey the law and not turn left out of there as there are not one but two no left turn signs. I was mistaken. So I see the car coming at me, but its okay because its not gonna hit me. Then they punch on the gas. At this point I figure its some punk-ass college kid who is trying to impress his buddy, so I stay walking normally. Then they step even further on the gas and clip my knees at about 15mph. The driver's side front bumper hits my knees causing my feet to be kicked out from under me. As to not bury my face in a fender, I put my hands out and stopped my mid air collision, bounced of the hood/fender and landed on my chin in the middle of the street. The stupid 45 year old lady stops and says "Oh my God, I didn't even see you, are you okay?" I sat in a stooper that I am and then get my sunglasses, backpack, and hat back on, all of which were ejected from my body on impact. I actually don't feel terrible (as not terrible as one can feel after getting hit by a car) so I answer the lady again and say I'm okay. Not knowing what to do at this point, I stand up, point to the no left turn sign and look shamefully on the lady and say to her "No left turns," and proceed to class. It was classic. So as the day went on I felt worse and worse, the car skinned my left knee through my jeans and my chin is bruised. I'm lucky I didn't get seriously hurt, but would have appreciated something in return. Shouldn't getting hit by a car automatically grant you the same privileges as your birthday when it comes to getting free desert at a restaurant, or a free shot at a bar? I for one think it should. If you have any questions about my stunt-man worthy incident, feel free to ask. I just can't believe I got hit by a car. It sucks. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "It's that TV newschick Connie f***ing Chung! Hey Connie, how's Maury"
Nick, Travis and I came up with a great proposal for the show Punk'd. Heres the setup: The punk is on Demi Moore. So Ashton Kutcher goes out, without Demi's knowledge, and rents a call girl. He has relations with said girl but he does so in an unprotected fashion. After that, he has relations with his girlfriend, Demi. Once it is over, he tells Demi that she has just been Punk'd and now has genital herpes. Fun for the whole family, right? Yes, but we're not done yet. Because now he has accomplished the much sought after 'double punk' and informs her that he used a 7 year old faulty condom and she is pregnant. I can only imagine the both of them will die laughing and she will do the typical 'I hate you, I can't believe you got me' bit, but we, the audience, will know that it was all in good fun. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded."
Nick, quit besmirching my good name. You know what I'm talking about.
I have always not enjoyed the musical stylings of The White Stripes. Tonight, I saw their new video on the Music TeveVision and it just solidified my observation that they do not play good music. Some bands have music that is good but that I don't necessarily like, as is the case with Metallica or perhaps ColdPlay. The difference is that while these bands play technically well and compositionally good music, the white stripes play simple, empty music that sounds like a chicken getting caught in a belt sander. Their new video is the perfect example of how simple and un-entertaining their music really is. It is a sort of a stop-motion animation where there is a new shot every time the drumstick hits the drum kit. Every time. Obviously if they tried to do this with a good band, they would have to take a year off to shoot the video, but my guess is they completed it in about a half hour. Realistically, it probably took a day. Either way I just cant justify someone who drumming style is equivalent to a 7 year old playing the "bonk the gopher on the head" game at Show-Biz Pizza, I can't justify that person getting millions of dollars. Maybe its just me. Oh, speaking of bad music. I also heard the new Blink One Hundred Eighty Two song tonight. 100 bucks says if I were to record it, go back in time to 1994 and play it to them, they would laugh at it and think it was the worst piece of crap they have ever heard. Shows to go ya how much money can affect your self pride. For the first time ever, you can win money on /mark. My sister (Julie) and her friend (Gwen) will be spending their Halloween in Castro, where it is a huge extravaganza. They need costume ideas for the two of them. If you post an idea that they use, Julie will send you 50 bucks. Honestly. Shes that desperate. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- [after a smoke ring goes up, person1 pokes their finger through it] person1: "Don't let it die a virgin."
After realizing that I didn't have school, I went on a bike ride with weston from our house (58th and Wadsworth) to Johnny Carino's (104th and Sheridan). The ride went surprisingly well. With the exception of Wes and my near-strokes, It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I really don't feel like I even exercised today. Thats a good thing. I think. My father and I tonight went to see the Colorado Avalanche lose whatever hope I had invested in their team at the Pepsi Center. Now I love going to see Avs games, but tonight it looked like Montana's Junior league on the ice. We lost 4-1 and, yes, we deserved to lose that bad. The team completed probably 3 passes all night and kept it in their own zone a generous 33% of the game. When we got home, my mom asked us if there was any saving grace to the game. We look at eachother thinking for about half a minute, and decided no, there was nothing good about the Avs. She asked if we were at least able to pick up any ideas or moves from the game. The only thing we learned from was the Boston defense and how they destroyed us. and charley just spranged his ankle. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "Do you know what a columbian neck tie is?"
I'm having a tough time telling if I'm happy, or upset. You see, on Tuesday and Thursdays, I go to school. I have a 9:25 class and it is often difficult to rise in the morning and ready my brain for learning. Today I was able to wake up and go to class no problem. Except we didn't have school apparently. Evidently Regis is on a fall break that I don't know about. So I arose for no reason. Now I don't even know how long this break is, or what it entails, but I think I feel worse realizing that I have no idea whats going on with my school. My friend Nick asked if I wanted to go see a movie with him every week. Now I could be wrong, but I took it as him asking me if I want to go steady. I don't think Nick and I are going to be friends anymore.
I went ahead and put up a new mp3otw for ya monkeys. Im still having trouble coming up with a domain name to launch my new project, which will pretty much be the same, sorry-ass crap that you see on this site daily, with the sinking hope that others will be regular post-ers on the team along with me. Anyhow, I have discovered the best way to come up with a name that isn't a real word. ANy help in this would be appreciated: The next time you're at a bar, look around in there until you find a touchscreen machine. these are the machines that are little bar-top video games where you can play anything from cards, to football, to erotic photo hunt (female and male). So wait till it frees up, as there is always a 38 year old sitting at it accompanied by a pack of kent cigarettes and some diamond shamrock matches. Anyhow, once she leaves, goto the machine and play a game called wordster. This is just a knock of of a computerized version of scrabble. The game itself is very fun, despite what you may think after reading this. It gives you 8 letters, then you make as many words out of those 8 letters in the time given. After about two minutes, you run out of any ideas for good words, so your brain starts making them up and you type them in thinking maybe you have a word that really exists. Make sure you bring pen and paper, because some of the made up words are gonna be good as butter. Also, hockey was awesome, we won 8-4 and I finally had some assists. I like assists. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of - " "What do you call this?" "Well, this piece is called 'Lick My Love Pump.' "
The Stiffs (thursday night Hockey) came back from a 5 1 deficit to conquer the Ducks in a 7-6 sudden death overtime victory. This makes the third straight win for the Stiffs, and six straight wins for mark between his two teams. Raj was credited with 6 points in the game, 3 goals and 3 assists, and I had another breakaway goal, making the goalie 'act the fool' by letting the puck get in on this shorthanded goal. It was probably the best I have ever felt playing hockey, as there was someone on my tail, hacking away at me the whole time. I felt so good, the only thing I wanted to do was to climb a building Rampage style. This week, we've had all these people in our office from our offices in Calgary and Brighton, England. In talking to the British folk, I learned a few things. At their Hotel, they have motion sensor toilets and sinks. The company dinner was at Bennets Bar-B-Que, where they also had motion sensor items including motion sensor towel dispenser. The Brit's have come to the conclusion that America is a motion sensor country and that we have made it this way out of laziness. My response: In the last 3 months, the only motion sensor devices I have seen have been in their Hotel and Bennets. I also found out that PS2 games up in Calgary cost $80 Canadian, and DVDs are like $30-35 Canadian. If I lived in Canada, I would need a credit card. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "I have a bad feeling about this."
Yeah, everybody's sad the Cub's lost. I wish they could have made it, but they didn't. I just hope you are not one of those people who will blame the organization's failure on that kid who tried to catch the ball. He made a formal public apology stating how bad he feels and expressing his regret. The way I see it, the cubs should be the ones apologizing to the kid for being such a terrible ball club for all those years. Where's the apology from those offspring of the bear? At work, we are all broken up into development groups. These are teams with a small number of people in them. We all have different aspects of the giant mother program to develop. We were asked to come up with names for our own groups. Our group is generically referred to as "the Graphical User Interface (GUI) Team" or the "Thin Client Team". So, there are ideas out like 'Gooey Boogers' (GUI says gooey), or Guido, or The Theven Deadly Thins. As you can see all these ideas suck, so I need your help with coming up with a name. Here are words to help you: Browser, Thin, JSP, Java, etc. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "I never walk into a place I don't know how to walk out of."
Friday after work, I meet at my former workplace, Mailboxes Etc/UPS Store, whichever you prefer. I meet up with my old roommate Nick as well as MBE/UPSS employee Travis. After some Burger King, We goto see Kill Bill (see next paragraph). We have to sit through some awful trailers including The Matrix: Revelations: Part 3 of 5 (ugh), and Lord of My Rings (which had significantly less walking than the 1st two). Anyhow, after this preview for some piece of crap they called a movie, it gives the release date at the end, along with the website. Nick takes one look, and without missing a beat, says to the audience, "Pfffff. Dot Net. Who do they think they are?" While I am usually upset by former roommates cinematic outbursts, he truly proved himself that night as a good quarter of the audience started laughing. Glad your on my side, Nick. Kill Bill is amazing. (Tough to say much without spoilers) I like Mr. Tarantino's work. I wouldn't say I'm a huge Tarantino fan, but this movie just may rival that statement. Its bloody, funny, bloody, brilliantly directed and edited, and a good time for the kids too, I'm sure. It also made me finally realize that Lucy Lou is a cute lil biscuit. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- [edited together] "I'm real. I'm real. ...I have a wife and kids... ....I'm real"
Dear /mark readers: The latest news over here at /mark is that of obsession, greed and turmoil. To start off, winter is coming and most of us like the warm and happy afternoons of sitting in the sun and enjoying a nice roast. Soon the clouds will roll in throw at us the worst mother nature can conjure up in her depths of the unknown. Or it'll be just like the last 6 years of warm winters and only one big snow. As you can see if you live in Colorado you are either a winter enthusiast or you hate your life when the snow hits. You enjoy the crunch of snow under your feet, the silence of a snow storm in the middle of the night, the feeling of being bundled up inside a huge down coat, or the thrill of winter sports. Now that I'm rambling this story has nothing to do with obsession, greed or turmoil... If you are the winter enthusiast I am talking about, you should be as excited as most of us are when winter hits. Think snow Thank you Todd Silvernail, CEO /mark Winter Sports Campaign (paid for by worthless democrats) -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "The deal is non-negotiable, the deal is 20 million dollars, the deal ends at midnight."
The year was 1996. I was at the ripe age of 16, cutting the umbilical chord of freedom from my parents. Girls were a new and wonderful treasure to behold. My anthem: Popular by Nada Surf. The song professed the teenage guide to popularity: Three important rules for breaking up Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to Prolonging the situation only makes it worse Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly Don't make a big production Don't make up an elaborate story This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene If you wanna date other people say so Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected Even if you've gone together for only a short time, And haven't been too serious, There's still a feeling of rejection When someone says she prefers the company of others To your exclusive company, But if you're honest, and direct, And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news, The boy will respect you for your frankness, And honestly he'll apreciate the kind of straight forward manner In which you told him your decision Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends Tonight I saw an amazing band. The band was Nada Surf, however, the music, lyrics, inspiration and drive of the band was completely different than that band I knew in days past. The bands musical diversity and unique style were admirable. It was an amazing show, and I got to see it with Jenni among other people, because she popped into town for a few days. Look out for the surf man, because they're gonna hit you while your down. (movie quote might be posted into the day, or come up with your own!)
Here is my post about hockey. I understand that no one who reads me actually gives a hoot and a holler about how my little team did, or how many goals I didn't score, but hockey is one of the few things that makes me happy, so I'm gonna post anyway. Heres the background on my Thursday night team. For those of you just tuning in, I play hockey in Highlands Ranch (aka 'Little Texas' per Matt). The people of highlands Ranch are some of my least favorite people. Don't get me wrong, Aurora is still my least favorite city and everything that comes with it. However, the "rancher's" as they are sometimes referred to as, are quit possibly the most stuck-up, self absorbed people I have ever met. Truly the Starbucks generation making up the majority of its populous, these people are better than you. Flat out. They are a better class of people. Their VW's and BMW's are probably too good for you. Their Ref's at the rec center get to suspend you for 4 games for cussing because they practice a higher quality of life than you. Gucci Bags? Standard. Business-Casual? The Norm. Nothin' like seeing six 20-something male's walk into the Chipotle at the Highlands Ranch Self Indulgent cooperate and business mecca wearing matching French Blue Ralf Lauren Shirts and shoes that scream 'image-whore'. They eat their Chipotle so they have enough strength in the evening to go drinking with their cohorts, slapping the asses of waitresses at The Black Angus Steakhouse. After all... those girls have no self respect anyway, right? They're already dead inside, so whats it gonna hurt objectifying them and putting them down to the level of an 18th century chamber maid. Meanwhile, their wives (assuming they are not the 'independent-entrepreneur-with-the-can-do-attitude-that-doesn't-take-crap-from-anyone--especially-not-any-man' types) are sitting at home crying over the now-cold dinner they cooked in an attempt to rekindle whatever it was that they saw in their relationship at the time of marriage. Too bad he will come home drunk as a communist, and emotionally bitch-slap her while he dreams of running away with his secretary, keeping on par with his mundane lack of regard for his children. He will no doubt end up the primary topic of discussion of little Brice Jr.'s counseling sessions, and won't come to the wedding because he'll be in Prague with his new 19 year old girlfriend getting spent out of his mind on blow. #1 Dad shirt is a frickin joke at this point. Congratulations Highlands Ranch. We all look up to you and your high standards and quality of life. I hate Highlands Ranch. I also just realized this post doesn't really have much to do with hockey. By the way, we won our game last night against the best team in the league. Ref was quoted as saying it was "the upset of the season". I rule. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "When you get up in the morning, how do you decide what shade of black to wear?"
I got an instant message from Todd today at work. He was imitating an Instant Messaging spam that people send for sites. It was funny, and I laughed. I didn't think much of it. However, before I left for the day, my phone rang. It was the IT guys. They said that they needed me to come down to HR. I am lying. Nothing happened. But, Todd really did IM me today and I told him I was flustered at work because there is some issues concerning the direction that development is going and other crap that doesn't interest you. I chose to give a presentation on something I have been working on for the past two weeks. If I had to grade it, I would have given it a generous B. Anyhow, back to Todd, I told him I was a little strung out. He noted the observation that I am always strung out, and after reading through my archives, he decided the last time I was happy was when I went to SanFrancisco, and that I need another vacation. Unfortunately that only made me feel more worthless. However, things are on the up and up for me and I am starting to be happier. Why? Because I lie to myself. -=MovieQuoteoftheDay=- "It's an official decree, no Jews allowed in the parks." "What, are you joking?" "No, I'm not. I would suggest we sit down on a bench, but that's also an official decree, no Jews allowed on benches." "This is absurd." "So, we should just stand here and talk, I don't think we're not allowed to do that."
 
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